I attended the launch of Marie Forleo’s new book ‘Everything is Figureoutable’. Marie posed the question, ‘do we misinterpret nerves and fear?’ Is the feeling of butterflies in our tummy, sweaty palms, and dry mouth symptoms of nerves? Or is it excitement? Bruce Springsteen once said he has these very symptoms before going on stage. Bruce does not associate these feelings with fear, instead, he knows it’s his body telling him he is ready to ROCK!
Anxiety is a normal response and without it we would die. If anxiety takes over, then it’s a problem. Using the hints and tips below will help to alleviate any worries on your wedding day. Remember to discuss any concerns about your ceremony with your celebrant, they can do so much to put you at ease.
Let the control go: Of all the weddings I’ve celebrated, the couples who enjoy their ceremony the most, are the ones who leave their control at the door. A huge amount of money is spent on engaging the best wedding suppliers in the business. If you have faith in them to part with your very hard-earned money, you need to have faith in them to do their job. Allow others to guide and direct you on the day. Remember life is not perfect, so try to accept that imperfections may occur.
Delegate. On your wedding day, you are responsible for you. Every other person’s needs should be delegated to someone else. Think ahead of what you need at the ceremony and make a list. Delegate this list to a trusted friend to ensure it all gets done. Read this blog about confetti and other things to throw at your wedding and why delegation is so important!
You cannot please everyone, so don’t try, or it will exhaust you. As part of developing the ceremony, I ask couples to list the people they want to be involved. It’s then up to me to place them within the ceremony. I advise if its too much, or maybe it’s better to recognize them in the speeches.
Share important information with your celebrant. If there is tension in your family, between parents or siblings, your celebrant can be sensitive and carefully navigate these situations. For example, they can ensure certain people sit separately, or do not have a ‘job’ together. To some, this may sound trivial, but I have worked with couples who are deeply worried things will ‘kickoff’, and that is an awful feeling to have.
What are your biggest worries? Make a list starting with the very biggest worry or concern. Speak to your celebrant and work through it. A problem shared, is a problem halved! By the time the ceremony comes around, my couples are excited, because we have worked through all the little things that were nagging at them. These little chats are what builds up trust between us.
Eliminate drama on your wedding morning. If a family member or friend tends to lean towards drama or you feel stressed around them, arrange for them to have a role or job that requires them not to be around when you are getting ready. I once had a mother of the bride arrive very early to a venue as she was told to hit the road, because of causing everyone to stress out. These few hours of preparation should be fun and exciting, so plan for it to be that way.
What helps you relax? Does a song or music help you feel chill, or do you have a friend that puts you at ease? Well then turn up the music and invite that friend to spend the morning with you. If yoga is your thing, take 20 minutes on your own to stretch out.
Stay hydrated and eat well. Ensure to drink plenty of water and eat food that is not heavy or makes you feel bloated on your wedding morning. Never walk down the aisle on an empty stomach. The effects of dehydration will leave you feeling lousy, and is also not great for your glowing complexion! Put a bridesmaid or groomsman on water duty to ensure you are siping away during the morning and throughout the day.
Remember you are getting married! As you feel the nerves creep in, allow your mind to change the feelings to excitement! Think of meeting your fiancé in a few hours, seeing each other for the first time…nothing else is more deserving of your focus than that moment.
Breath. Don’t forget to breathe. If you hold your breath, it’s more difficult to smile. So breath, head up and smile, smile, smile!
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